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Guppy, do you shop at Sainsbury’s? It is there and there only that the vulgar Middle Class do their weekly shopping. I should know, I have been beleaguered with such an upbringing.

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I do not. Part of the reason I do not work is that I insist on buying my vegetables from the grocers, my meat from the butchers, and my fish from the fishmongers, etc., with full or even part-time employment making it impossible to meet this standard. Good bread, though, is impossible to find anywhere but in Lidl.

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Your chances of meeting someone who works for the Spectator is slim in Lidl. You are doomed to a life of unemployment unfortunately William. Alas, the upside is that I am a loyal consumer of your excellent works, so all is not lost.

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